Sunflowers
A study in beauty, suffering, and impermanence
Last weekend, March 5, 2022, Kelli and I visited the multimedia exhibit about the life and paintings of Vincent Van Gogh in Washington. We were greeted by the theme of sunflowers as we entered the exhibition hall.
One of Van Gogh’s most famous motifs was sunflowers that he painted with different hues, often with brilliant colors. As we learned about Van Gogh’s tortured life- he suffered from crippling bouts of schizophrenia and epilepsy- I began to see the beauty of his creation from a fresh perspective. Although his paintings have earned some of the highest values at sale in recent years, he only sold one during his short 37 year life. From his brokenness came immeasurable beauty for the ages.
Sunflowers have today, of course, another meaning. Sunflowers have long been the Ukrainian symbol of peace and now, of resistance to the Russian invasion. Most famously, an unarmed Ukrainian woman confronted a heavily armed Russian soldier and offered him raw sunflower seeds to put in his pocket so that flowers would grow when he died on Ukrainian soil. The unfolding humanitarian tragedy and Russian tactics of annihilation make this defiant gesture all the more poignant. The war was weighing heavily on me, as it is so many others.
I came to the exhibit with the sunflowers and read about the artist’s selection. He didn’t exclusively select fresh blossoms, but chose many stages of the sunflower life span, from full blossoms, to those that had begun to wilt. It was the theme of impermanence. Life close to death, beauty close to tragedy, born from suffering. Memento mori. It struck me that the sunflower motif was just like us, enjoying this amazing exhibit with sadness so very close.
We finally entered the largest hall of the exhibit, a fully immersive experience of light and sound that featured Van Gogh’s most famous creations. And then it appeared- the harvest scene. Blue sky, golden wheat ready for harvest with a two cumulus clouds and crows. The painting was similar to the Ukrainian flag. I was suddenly overhwhelmed. The juxtaposition of life and death, of suffering and beauty, of war and peace. There was music to accompany the changing and dancing images that surrounded us, but in my head, I heard Modest Mussorgsky’s suite, Pictures at an Exhibition. The final, dramatic and culminating piece is the powerful Great Gate of Kiev. I saw the images in front of my eyes, I listened to the strains of the music in my head, and I sat down on the floor, overcome by emotion, unable to hold back the tears, and I wept. I cried for the civilians of Ukraine, for the suffering of the soldiers on both sides, and for us all and our uncertain future.
As I write about this powerful experience, I think now of the famous Rilke line from Go to the Limits of Your Longing, made recently famous in the movie, Jojo Rabbit:
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final.”